A survey from Cosmopolitan.com asked people about their favorite places to get-it-on OUTSIDE of the bedroom. Here’s what they found . . .

#1.) In the shower or bathtub

#2.) In the car

#3.) In a pool, lake or other body of water

#4.) In a forest

#5.) On the kitchen table

#6.) At a park

#7.) In a tent on a camping trip

#8.) In one of your parents’ bedrooms

#9.) On top of the washing machine

People always think I’m joking when I have a story like this, and I start it off by saying “DON’T EVER GET MARRIED.” So I’m going to get serious here for a second: SERIOUSLY, don’t ever get married.

–A new survey finds that getting married SLASHES the amount of sexual relations you have by a ridiculous 75%.

–In the survey, the average unmarried couple reported having sex four times a week. Within three years of getting married, that number drops to once a week.

–And for married couples, 80% say that when they do have sex, it’s at the same time, in the same place and with the same positions pretty much every time.

–59% of people also say that marriage has COMPLETELY RUINED the excitement of having sex.

–Just under half of people said their relationship with their husband or wife is more like FRIENDS than LOVERS.

–One-third of people say they’re not as attracted to their husband and wife as they used to be . . . and 43% say their spouses have, quote, “let themselves go.”

–And one final note, in case this wasn’t enough of a downer already. 14% of people surveyed said they’ve had an affair . . . and two-thirds of those people say the sex was MIND-BLOWING compared to what they’re having back at home.

Love it, Love it, Love it!!!

Republicans are 15 percent happier than Democrats.

Older people are 18 percent happier than young people.

Residents of Hawaii are 8.5 percent happier than residents of West Virginia.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, there’s a 36 percent chance that you’re very happy.

Married people are 19 percent happier than unmarried people.

Members of the clergy are 509 percent happier than gas-station attendants.

Rich people are 27 percent happier than poor people.

If a friend living within half a mile of you becomes happy, there’s a 42 percent chance that you’ll become happy too.

Grateful people are 25 percent happier than ingrates.

African-Americans are 8 percent happier than Caucasians.

Starbuck’s fans are 2 percent happier than McDonald’s fans.

I am straight addicted to these!!! Breakfast of champs everyday: Almond Sweet & Salty Nut granola bar and 2 Diet Mtn Dew’s!

Very quietly, Five Guys Burgers and Fries is becoming one of the most popular fast food chains in America. And they’re doing it the old fashioned way . . . by making their burgers as greasy and unhealthy as possible.

–According to the new 2010 Zagat Survey, Five Guys has been voted the best fast food burger in the country.

–The runner-up was In-N-Out Burger.

–Here are some of the other most popular fast food items in the country, based on Zagat’s survey of more than 6,500 Americans.

–BEST FRENCH FRIES: MCDONALD’S. Runner-up: Five Guys.

–BEST SALADS: PANERA BREAD. Runner-up: Wendy’s.

–BEST FRIED CHICKEN: KFC. Runner-up: Popeye’s.

–BEST VALUE MENU: MCDONALD’S. Runner-up: Wendy’s.

–BEST COFFEE: STARBUCKS. Runner-up: Dunkin’ Donuts.

–BEST BREAKFAST SANDWICH: MCDONALD’S. Runner-up: Panera Bread.

-BEST MILKSHAKE: DAIRY QUEEN. Runner-up: Cold Stone Creamery.

–BEST OVERALL CHAIN OF OVER 5,000 LOCATIONS: WENDY’S. Runners-up: Subway, KFC, Taco Bell, Burger King.

Every year, a professor at Beloit College in Beloit, Wisconsin, puts out something called the “Mindset List,” which sums up the pop culture knowledge of incoming college freshman. Side effect: It makes the rest of us feel SUICIDALLY OLD.

–This year’s college freshmen are the Class of 2014. The majority of them were born in late 1991 or early 1992. Here are eight of the items on the Mindset List that may send you straight to the Botox clinic by lunchtime . . .

#1.) They don’t remember the L.A. riots or RODNEY KING . . . those happened in ‘92, the year they were born.

#2.) They know CLINT EASTWOOD as a director, not as Dirty Harry.

#3.) Very few of them ever used CORDED PHONES. In fact, before they even hit age 10, everyone had cell phones.

#4.) To them, ICE-T is a television cop . . . not the guy who did “Cop Killer”.

#5.) Czechoslovakia split up into the Czech Republic and Slovakia when they were less than two years old. And the Soviet Union crumbled before they were born.

#6.) They’ve never known pizza places with 30-minutes-or-it’s-free delivery guarantees. Domino’s stopped that before they were born.

#7.) They have zero memory of DAN QUAYLE.

#8.) By the time they were listening to music, grunge was over and boy bands were back in.

WOW….So I got a chance to go through Kaerek Homes house for the 2010 Parade of Homes…Oh My God!!! This thing was terrible! I mean really a basketball court in your garage? Your kitchen cabinets set in stone? A party shower that had around 1,439,212 shower heads? A bathtub that the water fell from the ceiling and spiraled like a rope? Who’d want all that??? ME!!!!!! This house was one of the most amazing homes I have ever been in! I yelled at Mike Kaerek that he has now ruined me for everyother home I have to go into! You really have to go check this out during the parade of homes which runs August 21st-September 12th. It’s right in Oak Creek! And you know what the cool part is? This house is actually VERY affordable! I want it!!! I want it soooo bad I’m going to start the process of building a new home with Kaerek! If you wanna see some of the cool things Kaerek can do remodeling or building surf around their site like I tend to do often. www.kaerekhomes.com

…..a basketball court in the garage???? ULTIMATE MAN CAVE!!!!

So I have said that I refinanced my house with Kaerek homes a few months ago…you were listening right??? Anyway I’ve been in and out of their remodeling center on Lincoln Ave and now I wanna remodel 3 of my 4 bathrooms and my kitchen! Am I gonna stop there? NOPE! Now I want to do that stuff just to get my house on the market so I can build a new Kaerek home! May be a pipe dream but that’s what my plan for the moment is!!! I’m a mover and a shaker and when I see and know what I want…this brotha goes for it! Soooooo cross your fingers for me and maybe buy my house so I can get the plan in motion!?!?! Check out my house and EVERYTHING else Kaerek does here…look! NOW! LOOOOKKKKKKK! Looking?…..Did ya click yet???? www.kaerekhomes.com

There are two ways to look at the results released this week from ‘The Great Male Survey’ of 2010 by AskMen.com:

–As a veritable goldmine of insight into the mind of men . . . or as a veritable goldmine of insight into the kind of men who would actually answer a survey on AskMen.com. But supposedly 100,000 guys filled it out, so here goes:

#1.) What ONE thing would you change about your partner? 16% said “her moodiness.” 13% said “her sexual appetite.” Another 13% said they wouldn’t change anything. 5% said “her looks” . . . and another 5% said “her nagging.”

–3% said, quote, “her domestic skills.” (???) And 1% said “her intelligence.”

(–Another 44% said they were single . . . so they didn’t answer.)

#2.) Do breakups have to be face-to-face? 81% said yes . . . 15% said no, it’s acceptable to break up over the phone . . . and 4% said no, it’s acceptable to break up by text or “some other messaging service.”

#3.) Are you comfortable with a partner “friending” her exes on Facebook? 41% said yes . . . 31% said no . . . and 28% said yes, but only if they’d met him before.

#4.) Have you ever lied about the number of sex partners you’ve had? 52% said no . . . 16% said yes, because it’s no one’s business but their own . . . 14% said yes, to protect their partner’s feelings . . . and 18% said yes, to protect their ego. (!!!)

#5.) How often do you think that couples with healthy sex lives have sex? 77% said “multiple times a week” . . . 12% said “once a week . . . 10% said “every day” . . . and 1% said “once a month.”

–And a whopping 0% answered with “less than once a month.” Hey, at least they were honest . . .